This is not a comprehensive list of Joe Biden’s gaffes, controversial positions, and garbled nonsense because just that last category alone would take several thousand more words (that is not an exaggeration), but this gives you the gist of what Joe Biden is like in quotes.
1) “If you have a problem figuring out whether you’re for me or Trump, then you ain’t black.” — Joe Biden
2) “Unless we do something about this, my children are going to grow up in a jungle, the jungle being a racial jungle with tensions having built so high that it is going to explode at some point.” — Joe Biden on busing and desegregation.
3) “They’re gonna put y’all back in chains.” — Joe Biden telling black Americans Republicans would put them back in chains.
4) “I organized a civil rights boycott because they wouldn’t serve black kids. One of our football players was black and we went there, and they said they wouldn’t serve him. And I said to the others, ‘Hey, we can’t go in there.’ So, we all left.” — Joe Biden made up a claim about organizing a boycott of a segregated restaurant.
5) “When I marched in the Civil Rights movement, I did not march with a 12-point program, I marched with tens of thousands of others to change attitudes, and we changed attitudes.” — Joe Biden lied about marching with the Civil Rights movement. He never actually did that.
6) “You cannot go to a 7-11 or Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Indian Accent.” — Joe Biden
7) “By the way, what you all know but most people don’t know, unlike the African-American community, with notable exceptions, the Latino community is an incredibly diverse community with incredibly different attitudes about different things.” — Joe Biden
8) “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that’s a storybook, man.” — Joe Biden on Barack Obama.
9) “I spent last summer going through the Black sections of my town, holding rallies in parks, trying to get Black men to understand it is not unmanly to wear a condom, getting women to understand they can say no, getting people in the position where testing matters. I got tested for AIDS. I know Barack got tested for AIDS.” — Joe Biden
10) “Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids.” — Joe Biden
11) “Now, people when I say that look at me and say, ‘What are you talking about, Joe? You’re telling me we have to go spend money to keep from going bankrupt?’ The answer is yes, that’s what I’m telling you.” — Joe Biden
13) “I want you to look at my eyes. I guarantee you. I guarantee you. We’re going to end fossil fuel.” — Joe Biden
14) “You know, the eleven million people living in the shadows, I believe, they’re already American citizens… These people are just waiting, waiting for a chance to contribute fully. And by that standard alone eleven million undocumented aliens are already Americans in my view.” — Joe Biden
15) “Mr. President, my suggestion is don’t go.” — Joe Biden, when asked by Barrack Obama if he should go forward on the raid that killed Osama Bin Laden.
16) “I said, ‘Jill, if there’s ever a problem, just walk out on the balcony here, walk out and put that double-barrel shotgun and fire two blasts outside the house.’” — Joe Biden
17) “Instead of standing there and teaching a cop, when there’s an unarmed person coming at them with a knife or something, you shoot them in the leg instead of in the heart is a very different thing. There’s a lot of different things that could change.” — Joe Biden displaying his childlike understanding of using firearms.
18) “Bingo, you’re right if you have an assault weapon. The fact of the matter is they should be illegal. Period.” — Joe Biden when asked about people that think a Biden Administration “means they’re going to come for my guns.”
19) “As you probably know, some American politicians and American journalists refer to Washington, DC as the “capital of the free world. But it seems to me that this great city (Brussels), which boasts 1,000 years of history and which serves as the capital of Belgium, the home of the European Union, and the headquarters for NATO, this city has its own legitimate claim to that title.” — Joe Biden
20) “You know, I’m embarrassed. Do you know the web site number?” — Joe Biden, who in 2009, seemed to think the Internet worked like a phone.
21) “And don’t any of you, by the way, any of you guys vote Republican. I’m not supposed to say, this isn’t political. …don’t come to me if you do! You’re on your own, Jack!” — Joe Biden
22) “What happened today to @JussieSmollett must never be tolerated in this country. We must stand up and demand that we no longer give this hate safe harbor; that homophobia and racism have no place on our streets or in our hearts. We are with you, Jussie.” — Joe Biden
23) “You know, as we used to say in the Senate, excuse the point of personal privilege here: I had two cranial aneurysms, and they literally had to take the top of my head off. I mean, they take a saw and they cut your head off and go in to find the artery that is–one was leaking, the other that hadn’t, before it burst.” — Joe Biden
24) “And by the way, you know, I’d sit on the stand and it’d get hot. I got hairy legs that turn blonde in the sun. The kids used to come up and reach into the pool and rub my leg down, so it was straight and watch the hair come back up again. They’d look at it. So, I learned about roaches and I learned about kids jumping on my lap. And I loved kids jumping on my lap.” — Joe Biden
25) “Guess what, the cheerleaders in college are the best athletes in college. You think, I’m joking, they’re almost all gymnasts, the stuff they do on hard wood, it blows my mind.” — Joe Biden
26) “You’re full of sh*t!…Don’t be such a horse’s *ss.” — Joe Biden to a factory worker who said he was trying to end Second Amendment.
27) “You ever been to a caucus?…No you haven’t. You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier.” — Joe Biden to a voter.
28) “You’re a damn liar, man. That’s not true, and no one has ever said that. You see it on the TV, I know you do. And by the way, that’s why I’m not sedentary. I get up and… Look, the reason I’m running is because I’ve been around a long time and I know more than most people. And I can get things done. That’s why I’m running. And you wanna check my shape, let’s do push-ups together, man. Let’s run, let’s do whatever you wanna do. Let’s take an IQ test. Look, fat, look. Here’s the deal. Any other questions?” — To yet another voter Joe Biden was upset with.
29) “I have incredibly good judgment. One, I married Jill. And two, I appointed Johnson to the academy. I just want you to know that. Clap for that, you stupid b*****ds. Come on, man. Man, you are a dull bunch. Must be slow here, man. I don’t know.” — Joe Biden to a crowd of service members that weren’t applauding him enough.
30) “As Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S.” — Joe Biden
31) “Chuck, stand up, Chuck. Let them see you. Oh, God love you, what am I talking about?” — Joe Biden to a man in a wheelchair bound state senator, Charles Graham.
32) “When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn’t just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed.” — Joe Biden bungles the history of the Depression.
33) “150 million people have been killed since 2007 when Bernie voted to exempt the gun manufacturers from liability. More than all the wars, including Vietnam, from that point on.” — Joe Biden
34) “You know, there’s a, uh — during World War II, you know, Roosevelt came up with a thing that uh, you know was totally different than a, than the, you know he called it you know the, World War II, he had the war… the war production board.” — Joe Biden, no idea what he’s talking about.
35) “We hold these truths to be self-evident: all men and women are created, by the, you know the, you know the thing.” — Joe Biden botching his description of the Declaration of Independence.
36) “We have to take care of the cure that will make the problem worse no matter what.” — Joe Biden on the cure for the Coronavirus or something.
37) “COVID has taken this year, just since the outbreak, has taken more than 100 years. Look … the lives, it’s just … when you think about it, more lives this year than any other year for the past hundred years.” — Joe Biden, no idea what he’s talking about.
38) “Play the radio, make sure the television, excuse me, make sure you have a record player on at night, make sure that kids hear words, a kid coming from a very poor school, or a very poor background, will hear four million fewer words spoken by the time they get there.” — Joe Biden saying to play the record player to help poor kids hear more words or something.
39) “Cause if you could take care, if you were a quartermaster, you can sure in hell take care runnin’ a, you know, a department store uh, thing, you know, where, in the second floor of the ladies department or whatever, you know what I mean?” — Joe Biden, no idea what he’s talking about.
40) “You’re the ones who sent Barack Obama the presidency. And I have a simple proposition here: I’m here to ask you for your help. Where I come from, you don’t go very far unless you ask. My name’s Joe Biden. I’m a Democratic candidate for the United States Senate. Look me over. If you like what you see, help out. If not, vote for the other Biden. Give me a look though, okay?” — Joe Biden getting confused about which office he is running for.